Friday, February 27, 2015

Did You See That: The NHL Trade Deadline Shows

       In much the same way ESPN and the NFL Network cover the hell out of the NFL Draft, TSN and Sportsnet do the same for the NHL Trade Deadline in Canada. Both networks will be on from 8 AM to 6 PM talking about the trades that may happen, the trades that do happen, and one may feature an early preview of the 2016 World Junior Hockey Championship rosters (that's a hunch). But with so many trades already pushed through, and 10 hours of TV to fill, how will the talented broadcasters at both networks fill their time? Here are a few suggestions:

---  Nick Kypreos tries to convince the viewing audience that the dress was white and gold not blue and black. 

--- James Duthie plays a video of him and Roberto Luongo re-enacting scenes from Cop and a Half filmed when nobody was paying attention.

--- Bob McKenzie and Darren Dreger present "The NBC Chronicles" of what life is really like behind the scenes working with Mike Milbury.

--- Jeff Marek tells stories about the 1960 Memorial Cup Final between the Edmonton Oil Kings and St. Catharines Teepees, before realizing that John Shannon fell asleep next to him. 

--- George Stroumboulopolos interviews "The Traveling Jagrs" while P.J Stock auditions to become the Florida Jagr since he's the only one who might think a mullet is still stylish.

--- Bruce Arthur walks off the Reporters set after he plays a clip of himself saying Tyler Bozak was overrated (this may still happen, watch this space).

--- Damien Cox breaks down the analytics side of each trade (Editor's note: This isn't a joke, this will actually happen).

--- Sportsnet forms a new panel hosted by Jeff Marek with P.J Stock, John Shannon, Darren Pang and Kelly Hrudey where they try to desperately find ways to impress the NHLTies twitter account. Their stylist finally gets deserved screen time.

--- TSN shows a running twitter feed of American hockey fans complaining about why they can't see TSN's trade deadline show while Bell Media executives cry off camera.

--- When the trades run thin, both networks will project the 2016 World Cup of Hockey North American U-23 rosters as Don Cherry barges into the Sportsnet studio complaining that there aren't enough Ontario kids on it while Pierre McGuire tells you every waking detail of Jack Eichel's Boston University career.

--- By 4 PM in the afternoon, a stagehand walks on set at both locations with an airhorn trying to wake everyone up since they've all become sleep deprived.

Maybe I should start programming these shows. These ideas sound way more interesting than overexplaining an AHL trade. 

No comments:

Post a Comment