Friday, December 28, 2012

Did You See That: 2012 Year-End Awards

Last year, to send off 2011, I gave out some unique awards to honor the best... or the worst... of last year. Now since another year has come and gone, time to hand out the 2012 awards. This doesn't have the prestige of the Golden Globes or Grammy's, but these are just as important, but much funnier.

The "Mayans/World Isn't Really Ending" Award: The NHL Lockout

The Mayans "predicted" the world would end on December 21, and since I'm writing this piece now, that clearly didn't happen. The NHL lockout has been on since mid-September, and it's been everything from hilariously asinine, to infuriatingly asinine. But today, right before the awards were given, the NHL might have presented another offer to the players, and it's been rumored that owners won't stand another cancelled season (what a stunner). So yes NHL fans, the world isn't really ending, despite what the internet has told you. Sometimes, your twitter timeline isn't your best friend.

The "Biggest Insult to Journalism Ever" Award: Skip Bayless AND Rob Parker

I could just copy and paste the award from last year for Skippy and no one would be any the wiser. But, Rob Parker deserves inclusion this time around, because he is a cornball brother for suggesting anyone is a cornball brother. I still have no idea what that means, and I really don't want to.

The "What Have you Done for me Lately" Award: Roman Abramovich

Sports are the best example of the award's title in the world today, and one person is the epitome of this, and he won the award, and would win it every year it's awarded. Roberto Di Matteo won Chelsea not only the FA Cup last year, but the UEFA Champions League (biggest club soccer competition in the world), and guess what? He still got axed anyway, because Abramovich has a twitchy trigger finger. How's Rafa Benitez working for you Roman? Probably just making Fernando Torres seem like a worthwhile transfer.

The "#NBCFail" Award: NBC's Olympic Coverage

Hey, the namesake of an award won it! These aren't the Razzies at all... Anyway, NBC must now hate this hashtag because of the twitter outrage this Summer during the 2012 London Olympics. Tape delaying the best events and forcing people to illegally stream all of the goodies does not a good Olympics make. Taking out segments of the opening ceremonies so Ryan Seacrest can blather to Michael Phelps wasn't such a good idea as well. Hopefully they've learned their lesson for their Premier League coverage next season.

The "Rich Kotite Award for Coaching Excellence": Andy Reid

This must be a small consolation prize for when he gets handed his pink slip on December 31. This whole year has been a masterclass of poor coaching decisions after poor coaching decisions, and not only is it fitting that he has only 4 wins to show for it, it's fitting that Reid wins the award named after a former Eagles coach.

The "Stunning Flameout" Award: Manchester City or Chelsea in the Champions League Group Stage

Take your pick.

The "Basketball Reasons" Award: David Stern

Not only does he lock your players out from playing the game they love, Gregg Popovich, but he'll fine your team $250,000 for not playing their best players against the Heat because he loves to see those TV ratings (not realizing the game was going up against an NFL one, but I digress). Oh wait, that happened to you Gregg? Sorry. He apparently had "basketball reasons" for doing so. Ask Mitch Kupchak.

The "Money Can't Buy You Happiness" Award: LA Dodgers and Anaheim Angels

This award deserves to be split between the two teams that have found the money growing trees that everyone else has been searching for, but that money didn't mean the playoffs for both of these teams. So, what do you do when the first time didn't work? Spend more money! Watch this space to see if they get the same award next year because they couldn't make the playoffs despite having a payroll larger than the GDP of Vanuatu.

And finally...

The "We Should have been Soccer Refs" Award: Scab Refs in the GB/SEA MNF game

This award was handed out last year to refs in a Toledo/Syracuse game because they couldn't tell if a kick was made or not. But this is much worse... so why not relive it for yourself?

Those are the 2012 Year-End awards. To the winners, heartfelt "congratulations". And to those who didn't win, you have 365 days next year to put yourself in position to win for the first time (here's hoping you don't try to).

No comments:

Post a Comment